such sober certainty of waking bliss (wakingbliss) wrote,
such sober certainty of waking bliss

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libertas imperio.

"How much longer do I have to endure?" she asks herself, forehead pressed against the window. She watches him through the warm glass with a sense of helplessness as he cradles his lit cigarette in trembling hands.

He inhales the poison, and his chest rattles with something akin to anxiety and some form of relief. The exhalation is gradual, as he savors the sweet burn that quells his suffering, but never hers. He takes one last breath before dropping it to the unforgiving ground, crushing it with his heel.

The ashes are swept away in the gentle summer breeze.

"I'm leaving now," he turns and says with conviction that startles her more than his recognition of her presence. "Will you take care of everything?"

She steps into the heat and nods. "Yeah, don't worry." Get better, she aches to say, but the words are caught in her throat, tasting of bile and falsehood.

He places a kiss on her forehead and parts with a simple "bye." She closes her eyes to soothe the burn, and when she opens them, the driveway is empty, and she finds herself brutally alone.

She glances at the cigarette for a moment with a brittle heart before tossing it into the pot of sand beside the door.

She returns to the house, and bathes in the sunlight to hide her tears.
Tags: alcoholism, loneliness, strength
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